Fill -- Challenge 1: Birth

[lady_songsmith]

Drabble: Birth
Challenge #1

Once, there had been nothing but the island and the waves hissing against the shore. Once, there had been no one but Father, loving but remote. Then the bounds of her world were shattered and a way opened to vastness.

What she hadn't known -- how could she, spirit and star-child? -- was how uncomfortable the journey would be. Tucked into the king's cabin, she endured the nausea of waves and food grimly. She wished to be home no more than twice a day. At last, after a long passage, she set foot on the greater shore, and thought it good.

Comments

[pencildragon11.livejournal.com]

Wow.

[lady_songsmith]

Good wow, I hope? :)

[pencildragon11.livejournal.com]

Yes, very.

[lady_songsmith]

Thanks! :)

[heliopausa.livejournal.com]

I like the way you show the two new vastnesses she encounters -- the huge sea (taking what must have seemed like forever to cross!-- and it would be a different sea, too, from the island's sea) and then a continent (the only continent, I think?) which would be so strange to someone only knowing an island! I'm glad she found it good. :)

[lady_songsmith]

thank you! I think it's the only continent, yeah -- it is in my worldbuilding, anyway. I bet she liked to ride for hours, further than you could possibly go on the island, just because.

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

Excellent drabble. The contrast of what the star's daughter had known and how horrible a long sea voyage would be, and then finally a second birth and new life in Narnia. And then grisly death. Oh Lewis.

Well done!

[lady_songsmith]

Oh Lewis indeed! No happy endings, but if you end the story in the right place... Glad you liked it!

[autumnia]

Terrible as the long sea voyage was for her, I think it made a good transition for her as she went from the quiet and peaceful life on the island to the very noisy, harsher and more realistic world that awaited her when she stepped foot on the main continent.

[lady_songsmith]

It makes a very good birth metaphor, that. :)

[snacky]

I love how short this is and yet how much of a punch it packs. Excellent use of the drabble form.

[lady_songsmith]

Thanks! Drabbles appeal to my poetry-writing history. I haven't done much poetry since I left behind my angsty HS years, but I do still like the minimalist word form.